Hopping on the bandwagon.

According to this site (as originally brought to my attention by the lovely Jools) I look like...










So from left to right we have Natalie Wood, she who slept with Elvis and then died in suspicious circumstances involving Christopher Walken.

Then Sophie Marceau, the hottie in Braveheart and French charm ambassador to East Asia.

Helena Christansen, supermodel.

Emily Browning, actress most famous for her role as Violet Baudelaire in Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events.

Halle Berry, star of Catwoman, X-Men or more importantly in my book, The Last Boy Scout.

And finally Christie Brinkley, supermodel and ex-wife of Billy Joel. Interestingly she can now be found as a spokesperson, alongside the mighty Chuck Norris on infomercials for a "Total Gym" Fitness program.

Really though I think the thing has been rather kind, I *wish* I looked like any of those ladies!

Mad as a balloon you say?

A couple of weeks ago I went out for some drinks with friends who in turn brought some of their own friends along. I spent a pleasant evening chatting and drinking with everyone.

Yesterday I was talking to my friend. He told me that one of the guys I had been talking to that night had mentioned me. I asked what he had said. The response...

He said that you're "pretty but completely bonkers".

What a brilliant contumely compliment!

So my little blogarinos... what's the best compliment and worst insult you've recieved?

Eeek!

I got up at an ungodly hour today (5am) to get ready for work and for me, everything was going smoothly. I showered, dried my hair, did my makeup, got dressed, had breakfast and put on my coat.

I was thirsty and still had a couple of minutes before I had to leave so I went to get a quick drink of water. As I was filling my glass I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Something on the left lapel of my beautiful new red coat. I looked down.

I yelped, and pulled my coat off faster than I have ever undressed in my life.

It was a spider.

And not just any spider. It was the hugest spider I have ever seen in my life outside of a zoo.

And it was on me.

I'm grimacing and squirming just at the thought of it as I type.

So the coat was off and I flapped it and flapped it, and checked it and checked it for about 15 minutes but there was no sign of the spider. It must have fallen off and scuttled into some recess in the kitchen I told myself. So eventually, running late for work having missed my bus and facing a 20 minute wait in the storm raging outside, I put my coat back on and called a taxi.

My skin was crawling.

This was not helped by the taxi driver. I told him my tale of woe, and he told me the spider was on my hair. Again I yelped. The bastard laughed. Ha ha very funny I said.

I got to work and trudged up the stairs to face 10 more stupifying hours on my feet. I was in a foul mood. The taxi had cost me a tenner.

Getting into the locker room I stopped at the mirror and re-applied my lippy, had a quick skoosh of perfume and brushed my rain damp hair. I put my bag in my locker. I took off my coat.

The spider fell out.

Very much still alive.

And even bigger than I had realised.

It was the size of the palm of my hand, it's body was the same thickness as my thumb.

It had been on me all that time, I felt sick.

I stood on it.

It was dead.

Still my skin crawled.

Two hours later I went for my break, the locker room floor had not been swept. The dead spider was no longer there.

I thought I'd killed it, but did I?

To think I used to say I'm not scared of spiders.

Eeek!

A very poor Artists Reconstruction.

Nice

I had a wonderful birthday. There was cake, ice cream and a visit to a museum to see mummies, Spitfires, elephants and some rather famous paintings. I also got a digital camera, as exemplified by my cloud photo (taken yesterday in my back garden). It has 5.1 mega pixels, which might be a tad more impressive if I actually knew what mega pixels are.

Anyway, this means you can expect this blog to be all pictured up now that I don't have to rely on my housemate's mobile phone.

On a different note...

I was proposed to yesterday.

By a customer in my work.

Aww, sweet you think?

Maybe, if he hadn't been a smelly* old man in a wheel chair.

He also said that I was like chocolate.

Because I'm nice and chocolate is nice.


I don't quite know what to make of that, although I do feel slightly disturbed.



BETA UPDATE: It has come to my attention that a few people are having problems commenting because of my recent switch over to Beta Blogger. There is a way around this, when you go to comment instead of signing in as a blogger choose Other and simply type in your name, it should then let you post the comment. Or, if you are feeling particularly furtive you could always be Anonymous.

.

*This is not just a casual insult. He actually smelled.

Smiles and Thanks

It's my birthday tomorrow and already I've been lucky enough to recieve two wonderful virtual pressies from people online. I don't think they were meant as birthday gifts, in fact I don't think that those who gave them to me even realised that it was so close to my birthday, but I shall take them as such.

Some people hold stock in the price of presents. They think it can't be good enough if it didn't cost a fortune. These gifts were not expensive but in terms of value I think that they are priceless. They mean the world to me because someone took the time and effort to think about me and to make them for me. It's really touching to know that people care.


Molly's acrostic poem:

Here's to you Heather,
Erudite and kind,
Always good at pop quizzes,
Try not to be down about the job,
Help is always at hand,
Each of us will try and cheer you,
Right here by your side.

Jools' Collage*:

.

Molly and Jools, bless you both and thank you. I cannot tell you how much your pressies have cheered me up.

To have met so many wonderful people I would consider friends, this is a very happy birthday indeed. Thank you to everyone who has ever posted on here, you've all brightened my days.

Heather. xxx


*Of my favourite rock star Eddie Vedder.

Futile

The Media Guardian Online has 1421 jobs advertised. 5 of those jobs are in Scotland. All are for advanced positions.

S1 Jobs.com has 29 Scottish media jobs advertised. Most are in graphic design. All require 2 or more years experience.

Holdthefrontpage.co.uk has 49 jobs. 2 are in Scotland. Both are in photography.

Jobcentreplus.gov.uk has 13 scottish media jobs. Most of them are for kitchen designers.


It all feels so hopeless.

I'm off to eat a pint of ice cream. Ice Cream is cheering.