Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Newsflash: 51 School Children Mown Down By Crazed Learner Driver

I'm about to go for my first driving lesson.
The world's gone mad, letting someone as disaster prone as I am behind the wheels of a car.
God help us all, especially the other road users.
My aim is to not kill anybody, especially my instructor.
Or school children.
I really hope that the poor sod teaching me knows what he's getting himself in for.
Cars don't like me, I got my foot caught on the seatbelt getting out of my brother's car last night and fell out face first. I now have a grazed knee that is a lovely shade of purple from the bruising and a sore ankle. Never let it be said that I am graceful.
I'll report back in an hour if I survive, if not look out for headlines like the one above.

UPDATE: The lesson is over and no one is dead (that I know of).
I am counting this as a huge personal victory.
I can now drive in a straight line. Hurrah!
I really should have learned to drive back when I was 17 and fearless.


baggiebird said...

Confidence H, you'll be just fine

patroclus said...

Ahh, stick with it - I didn't pass my test till I was 26. Although I started learning at 17. Yes, well, some things just don't come naturally to some people.

But the freedom it gives you is just amazing, so it's well worth it.

Marsha Klein said...

Heather, if I can learn to drive, anyone can.

Just steer clear of ambulances for the time being. Oh, and cliffs!

No, really don't worry, you'll be fine.

skeadugenga said...

H, you'll be fine. I was 27 when I was forced to learn by my then boss, but didn't have a car for 3 years after passing my test, so I was petrified during my first month of qualified driving. And I was only going 1.5 miles in a straight line to and from work. Apart from the time it took me 3 hours to go 18 miles because I was scared to change traffic lanes and kept being shot off in the wrong directions.

Its tough, but its so worth persevering. I love my car, its freedom and independence and another place to keep shoes.

Terri Nixon said...

I did my bike test first, which helped. Didn't help with the bike test of course, but then you're allowed out to play on a bike before you do your test which HAS to help.
In fact because I'd passed my bike test I was allowed to drive a Robin Reliant on my own (crazy friggin' loophole, but useful when you're pregnant and want to keep your travel independance!) which gives you confidence but doesn't help when you're learning to park because 'real' cars don't let you swing the entire front bit of the car over the pavement :D
Congrats on the first lesson, btw.

realdoc said...

Driving instructors are a bit of a strange breed. What's yours like?

Molly Bloom said...

I'm impressed by anyone who gets into a car and drives it. I'm petrified of the things. Let us know how it goes.

Billy said...

Do driving instructors wave at each other like bus drivers do?

I've never had a driving lesson - cars confuse me.

Heather said...

Ta Baggie I think I'm developing quite the taste for it, I'm actually looking forward to the next lesson now!

Thanks Patroclus, I hope to god that it won't take me 9 years to pass my test!!

Marsha, advice duly noted, no cliffs or Ambulances, at least not if I can help it.

Skeadugenga, another place to keep shoes you say? I shall have to pass my test first time!

Terri I *wish* real cars were so easy to park!

Realdoc, my instructor is fantastic. He really broke my nerves by getting me laughing.

Molly it is scary, but I can't wait for the freedom it will offer me!

Billy- yes they do wave, and I had to too, to some crazy female instructor who was out in a mini. She likes people to wave apparently.

Anonymous said...

Good on you, Heather. :) You're a braver woman than me. I never learnt to drive & probably never will.

baggiebird said...

I found my driving lessons a chore towards the end, bit once i'd passed all I wanted to do was drive

First Nations said...

hi heather!
i drove illegally for ten years before i got a license and then it took me seven tries. after failing the sixth one you have to wait another year to (find your ass with both hands) retest. that last time? i showed up with someone else driving the car. pass! (yeah, they check the lot.it's savage.)

homo escapeons said...

I would rather work for the Bomb Squad than be a driving instructor!
Whatever tranquilizer those people take must be very expensive.

I am sure that you'll be a great driver..CARpe diem!

PS. I would have a very hard time learning to drive on the WRONG side of the road like you fine folks.

Inconsequential said...