Friday, June 23, 2006

There is strangeness afoot.

I've just been gardening and discovered a large bunch of plastic flowers buried in my front flowerbed. I spent about 5 minutes just sitting and staring at them thinking, how surreal?

Quite how said flowers came to be there is a mystery at this time. I only moved into my house a few months ago, so I have no way of knowing.

Anyway, a more pressing issue right now is my growing distrust of small children, particularly at my local supermarket. They keep laughing at me you see, and not only laughing, oh no, there's pointing too. In case I didn't fully grasp that their hilarity is aimed at me, the little buggers point just to make sure.

The first time it happened I assumed it was because I was wearing my rather spiffy* Calvin and Hobbes T-shirt, and the little girl (aged around 3 or 4) just liked the pretty picture of the silly tiger and the little boy.

Then it happened again.

There was no cartoon T-shirt this time, oh no. This time I was wearing a slinky black top and trousers combo. This time, not one but two small children, brothers I think, (aged- 3 or 4) started pointing and laughing.

I checked my appearance, there was nothing wrong that I could see.

I have had to come to the conclusion that there is something about me that is inherently amusing to toddlers. I don't have much experience with this particular age group so I don't know if the phenomenon is widespread or only centered around Morrisson's car park.

Or another possibility is that they have all banded together in some sort of evil - diabolical -supervillain plot to paralyze me in fear of their mocking faces. With the end result of me never leaving the house again.

Ha! Well I'm on to their Machiavellian scheme!

They won't get me!

* Spiffy. What a great word, one of my all time favourites.


stitchingpooh said...

Just so you know small children will laugh at you for the dumbest things. So don't be so hard on yourself. maybee there just confuzzled. See I got that one in:) haha

jromer said...

I'm thinking that pointing right back and screeching with a Cruella Deville like howl of a laugh will set those darling children straight.
I didn't like kids when I was a kid.
Just a thought.

Lynsey said...

I now have a complex too about children H. Every single time my niece looks at me she cracks up laughing. Then the neighbours kid started with it too. The tykes. I have come to the conclusion that I must just have a stupid laughable face.

Rabidus Badgerus said...

As my sister is exactly the 'staring-pointing' creature you've described, I believe it is nothing personal (unless you are ugly or "freakish" in some way, then it is personal). She tends to point at people purely for amusement, to make them nervous. She also often partakes in the apparently riotous 'lets-wave-and-rudely-gesture-to-the-driver-behind' game.

So yes, it is their evil-supervillain plot at work. Suggest staring and pointing back as a solution; even if you do lose a little dignity, it's satisfying to see the little bugger cry. NOTE TO SELF: Never have children.

Jess said...

Small children always seem to laugh at me...I think maybe I have 'one of those faces', whatever that means. I just tend to run away from them now!

chatterbox said...

I think they are like cats, once they know you are scared of you, they'll do it even more. Laugh back is my answer

Billy said...

Could be worse. Small children see me coming they instantly press themselves as close as they can manage into the nearest parent. I like to think it's because I come stomping up the street fast and not because they can recognise how evil I am.

skeadugenga said...

For the purposes of entertainment, cross your eyes and stick your tongue out as far as you can. No child can ever resist the challenge to respond, which should put paid to the laughing. As a bonus, the wind might change, or their mother might catch them at it and give them a smack for being rude to the by now perfectly innocent you. If caught, you just pretend you were "playing".