The Most Beautiful Fraud In The World.*

Bloomin 'eck!! It's been a while since I posted on here.

Oh busyness abounds at the moment, between work and my housemate's birthday celebrations over the last few days, I have become exceedingly confuzzled. I keep thinking it is Tuesday.

I am still trying to recover from Friday nights frivolities, which may or may not have included me drinking a litre of Jack Daniels and my housemate falling on his arse on the front lawn. I'll bet the neighbours loved us on Saturday morning.

Given my current inability to move from the comfort of the sofa I have been catching up with my essential viewing (Including Rock Star Supernova- but more on that later)

In honour of my movie watching ways I thought I would tell you my top 25 reasons to get excited and get your bums into your local cinema over the next year.

1. Pirates of The Caribbean II is out now. Not quite as good as the first, but still fantastic popcorn movie fun.
   
   
2. Superman Returns: Wow! Very, very good. Not a film for the kiddies though.
   
   
3. Snakes On A Plane (August 18th) : The title says it all really. If you haven't heard about this film then where the hell have you been for the last year muthaf**kers!?
   
   
4. Monster House. (Aug 11th) : The Goonies for a whole new generation.
   
   
5. Pan's Labyrinth (Oct 15th) : Ooh it looks good (scary) but good!
   
   
6. The Last Kiss (Oct 20th) Zach Braff returns to the big screen.
   
   
7. The Departed (Nov 10th) Scorsese does gangster again.
   
   
8. The Prestige (Nov 10th) Director Christopher Nolan (Batman Begins) brings to life a book by the author of Memento about two battling 19th Century stage magicians. Starring Christian Bale, Hugh Jackman, Micheal Caine and Scarlett Johansson. Am I looking forward to this? Damn skippy I am.
   
   
9. Tenacious D The Movie (Nov 17th) : I can't wait to see what they've done.
   
   
10. Clerks 2 (Nov) : If it's half as good as Clerks I'll be a happy bunny.
    
    
11. Eragon (Dec) : Fantasy about a boy and a dragon. Loved the book, hope the film is as good. Sickeningly the book was written by a 15 year old. Bah!
    
    
12. The Nightmare Before Christmas 3D: This doesn't need much of an explanation does it?
    
    
13. Night at The Museum (Jan '07): High hopes for this one. Cast: Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Robin Williams, Dick Van Dyke and Ricky Gervais. Plot: Stiller gets a night shift job at the local museum. All is well until the exhibits start coming to life after dark.
    
    
14. Hot Fuzz ('07) : Simon Pegg, Nick Frost and Edgar Wright return.
    
    
15. Rocky VI ('07) : It's the eye of the tiger, it's the thrill of the fight, rising up to the challenge of your rivals!
    
    
16. The Number 23 ('07) : Jim Carrey does serious again.
    
    
17. Ghost Rider ('07) : Another comic book adap, looks promising.
    
    
18. Stardust ('07) : Magic, fairytales and Robert De Niro.
    
    
19. Shrek The Third (Summer '07) : More Shrek.
    
    
20. Transformers (Summer '07) : My favourite childhood cartoon characters (well, tied with Thundercats) get another big screen outing. Whether it will compete with the original Transformers: The Movie is debatable. "Soundwave inferior, Optimus Prime superior" Sob! That line gets me every time. Poor crappy Soundwave.
    
    
21. Ratatouille (Summer '07) : Pixar returns and Brad Bird is back on board, Hoorah!!
    
    
22. Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix ( Summer '07) : Ok, so I hated the last one. It was my favourite book and they butchered it and created a steaming pile of cinematic crap. Will I be boycotting the 5th film? Hell no.
    
    
23. Spiderman 3 (Summer '07) : Oh I love the Spiderman films! This time he's facing Venom, Sandman, Green Goblin II and another unnamed mystery villain. Oh and yet another Bruce Campbell cameo to look forward to.
    
    
24. Pirates of The Caribbean III (Summer '07) : More Captain Jack Sparrow to buckle our swashes. Steady ladies, steady.
    
    
25. The Simpsons (summer '07) : Finally Homer, Bart, Marge, Lisa et al, foray onto the big screen. Dear god I hope it lives up to expectations.
    
    

* Jean-Luc Godard on cinema.

Brick In The Wall

Work is incredibly, unbelievably, awful. I was going to say 'indescribably' but I think I've described it quite well.

To clarify, not all work is awful. Just my work.

Yep, I took the plunge and with media related toil not forthcoming, I crawled shamefaced back into the world of retail.

To add insult to injury I've even been demoted from my previous position of duty manager down to a lowly 'customer service representative' or shop girl as anti jargonistas might say.

To make it worse it's for a huge, huge company. It's all so regimented. There is no time for warmth or humour. No space in the day for co-workers to become colleagues.

After I left my old job I swore I would never do this again. Never stand for hours, feet aching trying to serve indifferent members of the public. Instead I was going to do a job I was passionate about, something which related to my newly gained qualifications. After 9 months searching for such a job and three days in my new 'position' I can honestly say I never realised how good I had it.

I used to work in a video store, not a 'mom and pop' video store as Kevin Smith might phrase it, but part of a multinational chain. It was good though. There were 12 staff, we knew and loved each other (a few quite literally 'loved' each other) and laughed together even on the worst nights. Now I have 700, yup, 700 co-workers and I know none of them, none of them has made an attempt to know me. I spent my time at in the video store talking about movies, from art house to Segal, soppy romance to Serenity and I loved it. Now all I have to talk about is the colour of the blouse a customer is buying.

I need to be challenged in my work, I actively want to be. The biggest challenge my 'CSR' role has so far thrown up is how to remain standing on my poor throbbing tootsies long enough to make it to the bus stop after ten gruelling hours flogging trouser suits to 70 year olds.

I have inadvertantly become a very, very small cog in a very large wheel and I don't like it- not one little bit.

To add indignity to insult and injustice to further injury, today I was bullied by a squat, evil, she-ogre of a manager. Not that I had actually done anything wrong, apparently she just likes to torture the new starts and rub in her superiority like salt into gangrenous wounds.

I'd tell her to stop, however, despite her diminutive stature she is built like a brick shit house and displays a disturbing facial similarity to a bulldog chewing a wasp. Her demeanour practically screams 'don't mess with me'. So I shall cower for now and instead frantically scroll through the jobs sites until I can get away from the nasty lady and the soulless corporation she, and now I represent.

I've sold my soul for minimum wage.

Pea Brained

When I was 3 years old I stuck a button up my nose. I have no idea why, I don't even remember doing it. Although I do remember the frenzied journey to Yorkhill children's hospital to have it removed.

Aged 5 I stuck a pea up my nose one Saturday night while watching Challenge Anneka. Again I don't know why I did it, I had to be taken to hospital for the offending legume to be removed.

My parents were mortified. The doctors were bemused. Thankfully my campaign to place unusual items up my nasal passage seemed to end soon after.

Not entirely sure if this post has a purpose, I just remembered it this evening and it made me laugh. Kids! They're strange.

My way, your way, anything goes tonight...

Honestly!

To think I trusted you all to behave yourselves. I leave for a couple of days and you sully the place with mentions of Westlife. Tsk.

Oh how wrong you are my dearies, how very, very wrong. Off the mark doesn't quite do it justice...

...Tchaikovsky had the news

He said, "Let there be sound,"

There was sound

"Let there be light,"

There was light

"Let there be drums,"

There was drums

"Let there be guitar,"

There was guitar

"Oh, let there be rock!"*

I spent my Friday night having an utterly brilliant, fantabulous, rock'n'rolling time seeing Guns'N'Roses live.

Oh my GOD!!! were they good!

I have been to a lot of huge concerts in my lifetime, including Motley Crue and Velvet Revolver, but my god GNR just blew them all out of the water!

Axl Rose was on fine form, actually better than fine. His voice was incredible. Oh and the songs, the songs. I swear to you I reached a level of musical nirvana I'd never before thought possible while listening to November Rain.

The atmosphere was electric, the crowd knew every word. Bra's were thrown on stage** and guitars were played at silly volumes. Friday night ticked every box on the perfect rock concert list.

Things were about to get better.

Izzy Stradlin took to the stage, guitar in hand. I screamed until my voice stopped working. To explain for those not in the know. Izzy left the band in the early 90's after yet another bust up with Axl. The rest of the original line up soon followed. Today's Guns'N'Roses has only Axl and Dizzy Reed (the Keyboardist from Use Your Illusion I & II) in it's line up. It has been somewhat disparagingly referred to as the Axl Rose show. Izzy hasn't played with Axl since. So as a fan to see the two of them on stage together again performing as friends, even hugging, was a wonderful and surreal experience.

The show wrapped after a storming set of two and a half hours with Paradise City and a shower of ticker tape falling on the crowd. I was somewhat delirious, both from awe at what I had just seen, and from a lack of oxygen.

At the end the 8 of us who had gone together all met up outside. Six of us stood looking somewhat akin to drooked rats, soaked with sweat, feet aching and hopped up on the euphoria of seeing our rock n roll heroes in the flesh. Two stood dry as a bone displaying no signs of physical strain. They'd had seated tickets, poor sods.

The evening was completed with the downing of several glasses of Jack Daniels and Coke.

That's Rock N' Roll baby.

Click on the above link to see the wonderful unofficial fan site New GNR.com and to read my dear friend Mark's review of the evening.

*God bless AC/DC!

**Not mine I hasten to add, I will admit I was tempted but despite being near the front I wasn't close enough to guarantee it would reach the stage. I wasn't very well going to lose a very pretty bra if it was only going to end up trampled on.

On The Night Train

Ok, won't be around today as I'm off to a concert with friends. I won't say who it is I'm going to see but there's been a lot of black eyeliner and hairspray involved in my appearance tonight. Have fun folks!

Oh and this is for badger...
... for the most posts on my blog.

The Green Green Grass Of Envy

My neighbour has the luckiest kid in the world. Or possibly the most spoiled kid in the world.

Over the last couple of weeks the weather has been encouraging (forcing) folks around here out into their gardens. To which I am no exception. After 4 years of living in a tenement it's lovely to have a small patch of grass to sit on while the sun is out. From my sloped back garden I overlook the back lawns of several very gorgeous and very expensive homes. It is here that the child and his parents reside.

Over the last week I have seen this 3 year old boy playing with:

• His own large play park type thing with swings and slides and monkeybars. This is a permanent feature at one end of the garden and has deluxe written all over it.
  
  
• His own sand box that is HUGE!
  
  
• A paddling pool, that well, it's a small swimming pool really.
  
  
• A motorised car. I can't even drive (yet) and yet here is a toddler zooming around the garden like a miniature formula one driver.
  
  
• One of those flower things that you attach a hose to that splashes water.
  
  
• His very own bouncy castle. Yup, you heard me, his very own full size bouncy castle.
  

Is it just me or is that a bit much for one 3 year old?

I could go on to talk about how spoiling such a small child in this way might not be good for his development. Or I could talk about how such things were unheard of in my day. Bouncy castles were at fetes and to get a decent sandbox you had to go to the park and hope that no drunks had weed in it the night before. Or I could just be honest.

I would quite like to steal his toys.

Yes.

I, a woman 20 years his senior want to steal the toys of a three year old.*

I must be evil.

Oh 1 month in blogging today, hooray!

* Especially the pool and the bouncy castle.

Indecent Exposure

I have been lax in my blogging ways for the last few days my dear readers and for this I apologise. I blame the heat.

Quite what the heat has to do with it I don't know, but it's a convenient excuse so I think I shall use it.

Or I could blame the copious amounts of yummy cocktails I have been supping over the weekend. Yes, I think that they are probably more likely to blame.

Anyway, I had something of a swimming costume malfunction today. I went for my usual swim in my lovely local Olympic sized pool (40 lengths, 4 times a week because I'm nothing if not dedicated) and was wearing my faithful black swimming cozzie.

Unfortunately for some reason it decided to rebel this evening. Maybe it's because I've lost weight recently but it was either riding up into places I really didn't want it to go or sliding down to reveal nippleage. I had about 5 near misses of almost flashing the male life guard, not exactly ideal especially since I want to be able to go for my swim without a paper bag over my head.*

I shall comfort myself that it's not nearly as bad as those ladies and gents on flumes who end up in the splash pool minus an item of swimwear.

Still it may be time to invest in a new swimming costume before I end up inadvertently giving myself or some other poor soul a fright.

Not entirely sure why I decided to share this with you all. I obviously have little or no shame.



*A time honoured method of concealing identity and hiding embarrassment. Although the effectiveness of a paper bag when combined with water does come into question.

25 First Lines Music Quiz - The Results!

Well done everyone, only three lines which weren't answered at all! I've filled in the remaining answers in green for anyone who is curious.

And the winner is... (drum roll)....

• Poe - with 9 correct answers!!!
• Chuffy! - with 4 correct answers!
• Billy - with 3 correct answers!
• Minion - with 3 correct answers!
• Skeadugenga - with 3 correct answers!

Special mentions for Patroclus and Annie, who came, saw, but didn't quite conquer this time.

Huzzah to you all! Well done, no prizes I'm afraid, but bask in the glory of your incredible musical knowledge all you want.

Oh and for anyone who was wondering, since I never got an answer, Smirkenorff was the name of the dragon in the TV show Knightmare.

Also, I've had a couple of queries from online friends and that IS me in the picture, no stunt double required. Well who else would it be?

The power of voodoo? Who do?

I would have posted this a while a go but Blogger was playing up, telling me that my cookies weren't enabled. I checked and they most definitely were. For a short while I even contemplated putting a chocolate Hob-Nob in the disk drive to see how it liked enabling *that* cookie.

Then rational thought took over my paracetamol and Benylin addled mind.* So I didn't. Could have been interesting though, in a crumb filled, melty chocolate sort of way.

I digress.

So I was surfing the internet earlier and came across a news article about the one and only, the incredible Keith Richards of The Rolling Stones.

Something struck me... a certain similarity, shall we say?

Is is just me or is the Mighty Mr Richards turning into Hoggle from Labyrinth before our very eyes?

Oh, make up your own minds, but be sure to let me know what you think.

The Music Quiz is still ongoing, I'll be posting the results up soon.

*I've got the flu, if I was going to take drugs for recreational purposes, which I don't, I can think of far better ones to take than Benylin.

Things aren't going very well...

I fell over today.

Twice.

Don't worry, nothing injured.

Except perhaps my pride.

I've also got the 'flu'.

So I'm all snuffly and cold.

I've had better days.


The 25 First Lines Music Quiz is still running if you haven't given it a shot yet.

25 First Lines Music Quiz.

Ok, a few of you will already have played this over at ¡Oye Billy! but it was lots of fun so I thought I'd try my own.

I selected 25 songs using the shuffle mode on my MP3 player and wrote down the first line of the songs in question, ignoring songs in other languages, instrumentals and songs where the first line was the title. Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to guess the song title and artist WITHOUT googling it. If you google you cheat. Please be honest folks!

Here goes:

1. They slapped 'em on you. Where that bracelet used to be, you know the one I bought you in phoenix where they sell old jewellery. Harder Now That It's Over, Ryan Adams. Poe.
   
   
2. Holly came from Miami, F.L.A. Hitch-hiked her way across the USA. Plucked her eyebrows on the way. Walk on the Wild Side, Lou Reed. Billy.
   
   
3. Your only rivers run cold, these city lights they shine as silver and gold, dug from the night, your eyes as black as coal. Unforgettable Fire, U2. Chuffy!
   
   
4. Wading through the waste stormy winter, and theres not a friend to help you through. Trying to stop the waves behind your eyeballs, drop your reds drop your greens and blues. Sweet Virginia, The Rolling Stones. Poe.
   
   
5. Eddie waited til he finished high school. He went to Hollywood, got a tattoo, he met a girl out there with a tattoo too. Into The Great Wide Open, Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers. Poe
   
   
6. Out beyond the call of duty, hold your instincts hostage and stick near me. Let's drink a toast, it's the most I can stand to cry about. We are Underused, Pavement. Billy.
   
   
7. I was born by the river in a little tent. Oh and just like the river I've been running ever since. A Change Is Gonna Come, Sam Cooke. Chuffy!
   
   
8. For to see my depth of sorrow, you are not allowed to follow me unto this town square and then run away. Evil Angel, Rufus Wainwright. Poe.
   
   
9. Naked as sin, an army towel, covering my belly. Some of us weep, some of us howl. Knees turn to jelly. Next, The Sensational Alex Harvey Band.
   
   
10. Wanna tell you a story, 'bout a woman I know. When it comes to lovin', oh, she steals the show. Whole Lotta Rosie, AC/DC. Billy.
    
    
11. There's the moon asking to stay, long enough for the clouds to fly me away. Well it's my time coming, I'm not afraid to die. Grace, Jeff Buckley. Chuffy!
    
    
12. If you won't carry a gun, and if you won't learn to run. Hide from the world, it will come for you. You have no place in this time. Hidden Camera Show, Tom McRae
    
    
13. Darkest of night with the moon shining bright. There's a set goin' strong, lotta things goin' on. Superfly, Curtis Mayfield. Chuffy!
    
    
14. A man we passed just tried to stare me down, and when I looked to you, you looked at the ground. Who Is He? Bill Withers. {Minion}
    
    
15. Sailing heart-ships thru broken harbors, out on the waves in the night. Still the searcher must ride the dark horse, racing alone in his fright. Tell Me Why, Neil Young. Poe.
    
    
16. I went to bed too late, and got up too soon. My poor head still spinnin' from too much booze. I got a foot in the gutter, a foot in the grave. I ain't seen home in the last three days. Look What The Cat Dragged In, Poison.
    
    
17. Well they were given the grapes that go ripe in the sun, that loosen the screws at the back of the tongue. Four Horsemen, The Clash. Poe.
    
    
18. Yo man.What? She came. Where? There! Oh! In a word or two - it's you I wanna do. No not cha body, yo mind you fool. Sexy MF, Prince. Poe.
    
    
19. What the fuck is this world, running to? You didn't leave a message, at least I coulda learned your voice one last time. Porch, Pearl Jam. Poe.
    
    
20. I've never been too good with names. The cellar door was open, I could never stay away. It's A Shame About Ray, The Lemonheads. {Minion}
    
    
21. Heard of a van that is loaded with weapons, packed up and ready to go. Heard of some gravesites, out by the highway, a place where nobody knows. Life During Wartime, Talking Heads. Poe.
    
    
22. Workin like a dog for the boss man. Workin for the company. I'm betting on the dice I'm tossin', I'm gonna have a fantasy. Love in an Elevator, Aerosmith. Skeadugenga
    
    
23. There's blood in my mouth 'cause I've been biting my tongue all week. I keep on talkin' trash but I never say anything. Portions For Foxes, Rilo Kiley. {Minion}
    
    
24. Drop down, baby, let your daddy see. Drop down, mama, just dream of me. Well, my mama allow me to fool around all night long. Custard Pie, Led Zeppelin. Skeadugenga.
    
    
25. I hear him, before I go to sleep and focus on the day that's been. I realise he's there, when I turn the light off and turn over. Man With The Child In His Eyes, Kate Bush. Skeadugenga.
    

Have fun with those, it's an eclectic mixture to say the least. Go on, impress me.

On a seperate, yet still music related note:

Syd Barrett passed away on Friday...

Come on you target for faraway laughter,

come on you stranger, you legend, you martyr, and shine!

You reached for the secret too soon, you cried for the moon.

Shine on you crazy diamond...

Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus.

So this weekend I had a shopping trip to Ikea. Usually I go to Ikea with the intention of buying big important things and leave instead with a tummy full of meatballs and a large blue bag filled with stuff like ice trays, garlic presses and cushions.

However this time was different, this time I bought a Dragon!!

May I introduce to you Smirkenorff, my Swedish Dragon.

Isn't he fierce looking?

Oh I also bought a sofa bed(in picture), but Smirkenorff is infinitely better don't you think?

A shiny silver sticker star for the first person who can tell me what the title of this post means, and it's origin.

UPDATE: Billy correctly answered this as "Never Tickle A Sleeping Dragon" from Harry Potter.

A shiny gold sticker star for the first person who can tell me what 'Smirkenorff' is a reference to (and NO Googling- that's just cheating!)

Keep your eyes peeled, for soon I shall be posting my very own 25 first line meme music quiz, as inspired by the wonderful ¡Oye Billy!

Meddle not in the affairs of the dragon; for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

Dance till the stars come down from the rafters.

Dance, Dance, Dance till you drop.*

Continuing on with the cavorting theme of the past couple of posts I was talking to a friend about dancing last night. I have had to come to the conclusion that there are certain songs that it is impossible to not dance to. Even if they are excruciatingly embarassing. I just can't help myself. They truly are the physical equivalent of earworm.


Particular repeat offenders in my case are:


Bon Jovi - Livin' On A Prayer. (complete with actions along to the lyrics**)

Men Without Hats - The Safety Dance.

Van Halen - Dance the Night Away. (One of the best summer songs of all time)

Van Halen - Jump. (Not so much dancing as a lot of jumping)

Huey Lewis and The News- Power of Love.

Prince - Raspberry Beret, Kiss, Little Red Corvette.




I do love to boogie, even if it does make me look like a total prat.

Do other people have the same problem?


* W.H. Auden

** I've never been quite able to come up with actions for "Tommy used to work on the docks" and "Gina works the diner all day". It upsets me, it does.

Unrequited Shoe Love

I bought some shoes today, in an attempt to avoid a further flip flop fiasco. They are snazzy little slip on canvas shoes somewhat akin to converse but cuter. Look, there they are in the picture.

I love them, oh I love them so...

...so why do they hate me?

I wore them for the first time this evening for a 20 minute trip to the shops.

They'd ripped my heel apart after only 10 minutes. Ouchy ouch. Ouch ouch.

They'd fit in the shop.

Why don't they love me as I love them?

Bah!



In other news the wedding actually turned out to be quite good fun. The bride was blushing, in a beautiful white gown. The groom was dashing in his kilt.

I danced with Danes and my date who didn't really take all that much persuading despite his earlier protestations. I did actually kick some Danish folk, not intentionally you understand, they kept banging into us when we were doing the military two step. Well they would keep on getting in the way! However no one was seriously injured by our frolics (I think).

At the end the bride and groom did a dance as part of some Danish tradition and we all had to chuck rice at them, to bless their marriage with fertility. The groom's sister and I took great pleasure in aiming all of our rice to land down his shirt collar. Lots of fun. Even if he did chase us a bit afterwards.

All very nice, but...


I still don't understand why my shoes hate me.

Strip the Willow

So things are gearing up for the Danish Scottish wedding of the year tomorrow. I spent my day on Sunday trawling the shops for a dress to wear. In the course of my shopping I occasionally disclosed the true state of my bank balance by gasping in horror as I looked at price tags.

"£300 for a summer dress made out of cotton! What's it made of?! Woven hairs of unicon mane? Are those frilly bits painstakingly teased from the wings of cherubim?" I muttered under my breath, trying to ignore the dirty looks from the staff behind the counter. They obviously knew that if I needed to know the price I couldn't afford such gaieties.

Still I eventually found suitable wedding garb in the summer sale at John Lewis. A very pretty dress, and I even had enough moolah left over to treat my self to some rather sexy lingerie.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind expensive things, it's just, well, if I'm going to spend £300 on a dress I bloody well expect it to look like it cost me £300 at the very least. Not like some old piece of crumpled cotton and an old pair of curtains smooshed together in a cack handed manner and then laughably called couture. Am I asking too much?

Anyway, I've got the wedding tomorrow. Amusingly I am going to be expected to dance. Not only dance but Scottish dance. Oh yes ladies and gentlemen, the bride and groom came up with the ingenious idea of holding a Ceilidh. Despite the fact that 50% of those in attendance will be Danish and thus probably be asking themselves who is this Gordon? And exactly how gay is he?

I myself have not been to a Ceilidh since I was 16 at my high school prom. I can't remember the first thing about it. *

Meanwhile my date for the evening is more concerned with the fact that he's missing the quarter final of the world cup than anything, as well as his stout insistance that he will not dance at all. I wish I'd opted to just go alone.

This should be interesting.




NB. At no point has this blog contained a post on childcare or gynaecology. At no point will this blog contain a post on childcare or gynaecology.

Ms. Dejevsky why don't you try doing some research before you write in future?**





*About how to Scottish dance, I can remember the prom. It's the after party that my memory gets hazy on.

**See Patroclus' wonderful childcare and gynaecology free blog Quinquireme for an explanation.

Ninjatastic!

Yes, more ninja chat. Have no fear though bird haters it is not ninja pigeons of which I speak.

I have started reading a nifty new trade paperback called Street Angel, and what should it contain? Ninjas of course! Ninjas galore. A ninja called Roger. A ninja called Dave. Could there be more ninjas? I think not!

Orphan of the streets and skateboarding daughter of justice, Jesse Sanchez fights a never ending battle against the forces of evil, nepotism, ninjas, and hunger as Street Angel!

Hurrah! Or should that be huzzah!? It is an excellent and very funny read which I would recommend highly to all and sundry.

While I am in a recommending sort of mood, my favourite comic of the moment is the brilliantly insane Next Wave.





I am sad to say that it has no ninjas. It does however have Unusual Weapons of Mass Destruction, and an evil despotic villain called Dirk Anger. It even has a dragon / godzilla type creature called Fin Fang Foom who wears purple Y-Fronts, and homicide crabs. Don't even get me started on the broccoli men. Next Wave is definitely not a comic to be taken seriously.

If you're really keen it even has it's own theme song.

Check them out. Go on! You know you want to...