Thursday, June 29, 2006

Unexpected Ninja Guests?



A crazy bird just flew in my window.

Then into the wall opposite the window.

It scared the bejesus out of me.

I suspect it was a kamikaze pigeon.

I ran about after it with a towel for a while before catching it.

I was just going to shake the towel open out of the window and then I thought what if it doesn't fly and drops like a stone?

Do I really want pigeon murder on my conscience?

Answer: No I don't.

I had to take it downstairs and let it go in the back garden.

It flew off, I knew it was feigning injury just so I'd give it bread.

Sneaky pigeon.

Oh lordy, I hope it doesn't have delayed concussion (can birds get that?)

Why do I care?

Maybe because of all the open windows in all the world it flew into mine.

I'm just really glad I don't have a cat who might have tried to munch it.

I do want one, but mainly so I can call it Ziggy Mac Stardust.

Then I could say; hey I have a cat called Ziggy Mac Stardust.

I think I may need to work on the banter a bit more.

Still, sometimes it's nice to have unexpected guests.


UPDATE: Have I done something to upset our feathered friends today? It's becoming like something out of the Hitchcock's The Birds. Another pigeon, the same window, but this time it was shut. There was a horrible bang as it hit the glass. Ahh! What is going on here?

UPDATE 2 : Skeadugenga has come up with the quite brilliant theory of Ninja Pigeons. I did a little research and looking at this article I think she may be right.

I am quite insulted though, talking to a so called friend I said I thought I could take a Ninja pigeon in a fight,

Friend: Would you be armed?
Me: No.
Friend: You couldn't take a Ninja pigeon, it'd kill you.
Me: What if I had a Katana*?
Friend: The outcome would still be doubtful on that one. Would the pigeon be armed?
Me: Possibly... possibly with nunchakus? Come on though, I'd have a Katana!
Friend: That pigeon would beat you down!
Me: Harrumph!



* A ninja sword.

17 comments:

realdoc said...

Pigeons are rats with wings I really, really, massively dislike them.

Lynsey said...

I love pigeons. Though I don't think I would like a visit from one like yours Heather. I have to be held back in town when I see young nippers running after them, I get quite defensive of the wee things. Maybe I was a pigeon in a former life. Or it's because I loved 'pigeon street' as a kid. Ho hum.

Billy said...

I had the exact same thing happen to me the other week. Very annoying as the stupid bird kept flying into the closed window.

cello said...

I am with Hitchcock on this one. Birds are terrifying, and a short evolutionary hop from dinosaurs.

Birds in houses are even worse. A starling came down our chimney once and flew about the sitting room a lot. It finally came to rest sitting on the frame of a large abstract oil painting.

After resting there for some time with all the windows and french doors open it finally left us. But when we looked at the painting we could see that it had crapped down it. Or had it? We were convinced it had and set to work washing it off gently. In fact it hadn't and the white mark was part of the painting. But we can only see the white streak as bird poo now. Tragic.

Heather said...

Ah Cello that's given me a good laugh. Poor you, I hope the painting wasn't expensive.

sarah said...

oh poor you that is my worst nightmare....i hate birds they frighten me senseless . i have had birds get trapped in rooms at work and all i can do is run and hide its the flappy wings that do it and also being made to watch The Birds as a child and then parents that thought a great day out is walking around a wildlife centre through fields of birds oh how they scared me for life.but i could never hurt them.

Fraudulent Little Tart said...

Perhaps it was the same pigeon on a return journey, and it was banking on the window being open as it had already used it as an entry point before. Did it hurt itself? I'll call the RSPB! LOL

skeadugenga said...

Heather, I also suffer pigeon attack fairly regularly (feathered ninjas?), the most recent requiring a call to an emergency glass fitter at 5.30pm on a Saturday (expensive). They are too dim to realise that big expanses of glass that reflect open sky are not what they seem. One solution is to put an adhesive picture in the middle of the glass, so that they don't try and fly through it (see RSPB website for suitable stickers of hawks, the sort of butterflies you might see on acid trips, and other pigeon repelling items).

Heather said...

Feathered Ninjas, now there's a mental image I like!

Although the one that 'dropped in on it's way by' so to speak, seemed more intent on committing hari-kari than attacking me with nunchakus.

Also it was grey, a decidedly un-ninja-esque shade. Black is the only colour for a ninja surely?

I do like my ninjas.

chatterbox said...

I have one comment to make about pigeons... (nasty things!)

Carrier pigeon./Carrier pigeon.
Carrier of disease./Oh gnarled claws, hobbling./ Disease,/ Eating away at your very being./Look out!
A car!/I can’t fly because my wing has been damaged./Beep. Beep.Beeeee

(courtesy of Alan Statham) :D

skeadugenga said...

That link was most amusing...

"A thousand pigeons each with a two ounce explosive capsule, landed at intervals on a specific target, might be a seriously inconvenient surprise," Mr Rayner wrote.

That's Wing Commander Rayner...

Don't you just love "a seriously inconvenient surprise"? Bloody miracle we won the war isn't it?


Maybe your pigeons are descendants of the original trained attack pigeons.

Maybe they've been out there in the Highlands, unaware that the war is in fact, over.

baggiebird said...

I'm not very fond of pidgeons, although they don't scare me. We just have incredibly fat pidgeons where I live, I keep hoping the Magpie's will chase them off.

My friend was minding her own business last week. She wnt to close her curtains only to disturb a bat (we don't know how it got in) She spent the next hour locked in the bathroom until her husband had managed to catch and release the said bat. I have to admit she had me in stitched when she was explaining it. I just have this vision of her running up the stairs screaming Oh my god.

Heather said...

"Maybe your pigeons are descendants of the original trained attack pigeons.

Maybe they've been out there in the Highlands, unaware that the war is in fact, over."

Oooh I likey, malevolent attack pigeons, how cool. Stealth pigeons perhaps?

I actually created quite a spiffy image of a ninja pigeon, with Katana and everything. Technology however, and my incomplete grasp of it has gotten in the way of me posting it for your amusement and perusal.

I really have too much time on my hands.

skeadugenga said...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/1396706.stm

Talking of verminous, or venomous wildlife, whatever happened to the story in the link above?

I don't know, they get our hopes up..

Heather said...

Dammit! I remember that news story. I'd really hoped they'd bite the bums of the whole royal family and get rid of them for us.

Apparently Prince Charles and Camilla's upkeep only cost us 26p each last year- well what if I don't want to pay 26p for Charlie boy and the missus?

Sorry, beginning to rant again. I'm not too fond of the monarchy.
Death by spider is too good for them.

So, now we have ninja pigeons and deadly spiders- whatever next?!

realdoc said...

This thread has given me a panic attack. I cannot possibly go and look at your ninja pigeon I wouldn't sleep for a week. As for chats description of all things pigeony aaaaarrrrrgggghhhhh

StacieFunkee said...

I had to study The Bird's for GCSE English and i had quite a mad teacher who decided we had to close the windows in the summer or the birds would try to get us lol.